Psychologists
Not prone to rambling, especially out of the blue after a long time being away, but I feel I must have a quick go at the world of psychology. Or, perhaps I should say, psychologists themselves.
I'm a scientist. A proper, real life scientist. I'm doing a PhD, and I perform crazy, cutting edge experiments with polymers. Psychologists, it has to be said, do have a certain scientific bent to their occupation, so I'm not angry about them calling themselves scientists. Nor, indeed, am I upset that they seem to come up with random crap about wanting to shag your mum (cliche time, I know, but this is a rant, so I've left my principles at home). What bothers me about psychologists is their smugness. Pure, unadulterated smugness. Take, for instance, their favourite phrase - "you're exactly how I expected you to be". This refers to the amazing ability of psychologists to predict every single trait of your character from the first few moments of meeting you. I'm sure it must be real, because every single psychologist I've ever met tells me the same thing. And yet, and this is the crux of the argument, not ONE, not a single person who has ever told me this, has been able to corroborate this with a prediction in a sealed envelope, or anything of the sort. Now, I don't want it to seem to you, dear reader, that I am in any way doubting the average psychologist's ability to predict my character from the jumper I'm wearing and the way one eyebrow is invariably cocked, but it isn't exactly rigorously scientific to suggest, without corroborating evidence, that the character traits I've just displayed were all too predictable.
Oh, and another thing, they're a bunch of dog electrocuters and mouse confusers...