It's really annoying trying to write a 3 when you wrote a 2. You have to scribble out the 2, because it looks really crap when you try to put the 3 over the top. Sometimes things are ok - turning a 2, 3, 5, 6, 7 or 9 into an 8 is easy enough, as is 1 to 7, or 1 or 7 to 9, and you can almost get away with 7s into 4s if you've not made the top bit too big. But don't even try turning anything into a 1 or a 0, unless it's a 1 into a 0. And 8 can't become anything, and nothing can become 1. The whole thing would be easier if I was incapable of writing the wrong number in the first place...

(disclaimer: the above list may or may not be exhaustive. The author bears no responsibility for people wasting time/paper/ink/graphite trying to turn numbers into other numbers without making them look crap)

Here's a pic, linked to the story below:

Honda Genius Strikes Again (well, actually, it was Simon Fuller, but he's a prat)
Nobody, but nobody, else in the Formula 1 paddock saw this coming. It's just a simply brilliant idea. I love it. I looked around the net a bit, and even the usually cynical Top Gear lot couldn't bring themselves to say anything too bad about the move. I can't wait to see this thing on the grid and on the track, tearing around and generally looking both cool and somewhat menacing. There's a coherence, a flow to the shape of the car which is entirely down to the paint-job. In a sport where most of the cars are beginning to resemble the Batmobile, this design has changed everything, hiding the monstrosity beneath. Hats off to Honda, and (begrudgingly) to 19.

Why when I type 'resistivity' into Word does it assume I've made an error? Why does the annoying little office assistant thing pop up its little lightbulb and suggest a method for 'moving between errors in your document'? It's not my bloody error, it's Microsoft's. It's not as though 'resistivity' is a masssively obscure word - it's used in physics, chemistry, engineering (mechanical and electronic) and geology, to name but a few.

For the second time in as many weeks (just about) Internet Explorer has just crashed, taking with it another f***ing huge article. This time it was for my model aircraft blog, and it was by no means quite the opus that my previous lost post (about the awful Grand Scenic) had been, but it had still taken some time and effort to produce. Not... a... happy... bunny...

Huge mouth
Andy Murray has an enormous mouth, as can be seen here. This information is of no use to you.

Debt-hit NHS removes light bulbs
Ok, the idea is meant to be that we're shocked by the fact that this hospital is saving a few quid by taking some lightbulbs out. Problem is, the MP they quoted really has rather missed the point. He said "If our hospitals are scrimping money on light bulbs, how can they afford the latest drugs and high quality patient care?". Er, by scrimping money on lightbulbs perhaps?

Mornings aren't a good time. They're full of forgetfulness, which is the most frustrting thing in the world sometimes. I can't think straight at all, and I don't remember to do things that I've spend ages trying to remind myself to do. I find that really annoying. I'm utterly off-kilter this morning, entirely feeling out of shape and out of place. My eyes just want to shut, my head wants to stop hurting and the rest of my body craves sleep. I have absolutely bugger all to do at work, too, just when it's quiet enough to be getting on with things. Mornings are not a good time. I wish my shoulder would stop hurting.

I'm really on it today... two more things:

A1) Weddings should be cheaper - according to the church, we should all be saving money and having cheaper, greener weddings. Bloody good idea. With the statistic banded around that on average a wedding in the UK costs 17 grand, we could all do with spending a bit less. Jen and I noted the problem, and made our wedding cost far less than that without losing any of the impact. We made our own invites and orders of service, didn't buy a wedding dress (although I didn't have a hand in that decision, and wouldn't have minded), refused to hire an expensive photographer (everyone has a digital camera, so we gave out CDs), and generally saved money by doing things ourselves that otherwise we'd have paid through the nose for. Had we not gone for one of the most expensive locations in South Yorkshire for our reception (certain things are worth forking out on), the whole thing could have been even cheaper, maybe less than 8 grand, and that includes the honeymoon in Mauritius. The church should be commended for making the recommendation.

A2) Can't remember the second thing.

There are so many things bugging me today I'm going to have to listify:

1) Sport - why is sport so rubbish these days? Seriously. I can't remember the last time I actually got really excited by a sporting event. Take the Premiership, for instance. It's dull and boring. The same people win all the time, the same people lose all the time. There's very little unexpected, and 99.9% of the headlines are about politics, mostly managers getting annoyed at how craps the referees are. Pretty much every other sport we see is crap, mostly because Sky have bought the rights to and raped everything else that's interesting, charging people unpleasantly large sums for an inferior product. I realised last night as I scanned the pages of BBC Sport that for the first time in a long time, I really was looking forward to the excitement of Formula 1, and that's saying something considering the driving is as dull as it's possible to get.



3) John Howard - I am, for about the four billionth time in my life, embarrassed by my home nation. It's always the politics, because you just can't deny that the place is really behind the times. John Howard (stupid, stupid man on a par with George W) has come out and slammed Barack Obama, an American Democrat presidential candidate, for suggesting that he would pull American troops out of Iraq within a year if he was in power. Now, there are plenty of people in world politics who would share Mr Obama's views on the subject (I know I do). So why has John Howard slammed the guy? After all, he's not even in the same political arena! Perhaps, and I don't want to suggest that mr Howard is racist here (he is, by the way), this has something to do with the fact that Obama is an African-American. By that I mean his dad is African, his mum American, rather than he's just black and can trace one of his ancestors three hundred years ago to Africa. And that he would certainly not be a political ally of Mr Howard. If Howard gets another term, Autralia is only going to become more embarrasingly outdated. I pray that this doesn't happen.

4) Paul Jewel, and the referee situation - have a look at this. I can understand the Wigan manager's response to what is quite clearly favourable treatment for a big club at their home ground. It happens all the time at Old Trafford, Stamford Bridge and the Emirates. We're past the point where we can excuse the odd mistake with the old 'only human' chestnut. These aren't odd mistakes any more. They're common, and categorical, and should be picked up by referees who deign to call themselves 'professional'. Clubs are being cost points and financial bonuses by men who are making more errors than they should be allowed to get away with. And my team (Boro) haven't even been that badly affected by refs!

That's it for the list. Other than that, my Monday morning is full of annoyance on the work side of things, and full of sleepiness elsewhere. Really need to get this whole body clock thing sorted. Hey ho.

There is a glade of trees, an oasis among the otherwise scorched pasture, withering in the summer heat. A structure lies within, a cold stone hut, the roof collapsed, the walls bowing outwards, ready to tumble at the slightest breeze upon them. Water trickles from a small pipe in one wall, clean and fresh, obviously the source of the abundant plantlife.
The glade is quiet. Too quiet to be empty. Carefully, eyes darting around always, a hunter emerges from the shadows and into the shaft of sunlight which catches the trickling water and makes it shimmer like diamond. She is thin, too thin, and carries a bow that looks far too strong for her to draw. Kneeling, she cups her hands benath the flow, letting them fill before bringing them to her lips. A little taste first, tongue darting out and lapping at the water, then more urgent drinking. She takes her fill, hands cupped beneath the water twice more, before filling her gourd. All the time, eyes watch around her, ears listen for the slightest sound that shouldn't be there. Slowly, carefully, she stands once more, stepping backwards into the shadows, her drab hunter's garb disguising her sooner than the darkness does, and is gone.

Wales is Funny
I'm doing a bit of work at the moment on an aqueduct which runs out of Wales and into England. Obviously there's a bit of geography involved here, and with Wales to consider there's always a chance of a couple of good names popping up. So far (and it's a small list, but good I think) we have:
1) New Ho
2) Pant Y War, crossing Glug Hill
Thank goodness for the druids, eh?

I received an e-mail including the phrase "by close of play tonight". Wouldn't be quite as funny if we hadn't been denouncing jargon in the pub on Saturday night...