Limoculture

I'm rather proud of this one. It's a lemon tree, grown from seed (or should that be 'from pip'?). Admittedly, I had little to do with the germination, having discovered the growth in a rather decrepit lemon I was juicing one day. But the seedling was lovingly transplanted from its doomed home into a purpose-built growing environment (a plant pot with some potting compost thrown in). It's not central, because it used to have a friend, from which it has now been parted; it's better that way.

I know nothing about lemon tree growing, so I can't pretend to offer expert advice. However, I can give you the following tips based upon my experiences:

• to begin, keep an old lemon for a good long while, at room temperature. You could even cut one end off to see if things grow towards the light
• when you have a seedling, plant it in good quality normal potting compost. I'm sure you're meant to use something special, but I didn't, and just look at it!
• Don't get it too wet, but don't let it dry out - put the pot on a saucer and water the saucer rather than the pot
• Pick a warm, sunny position for your plant - it'll love a warm, sunny position if mine is anything to go by

That's it, really. No idea if it'll ever bear fruit, but lemon trees are quite nice to look at anyway.