Anti-bullying Campaign - so near yet so far...

Tricky ground here, very thin ice. But it's my blog, so let's dive in.

Listening to the radio in the car on the way to work this morning, I heard a trail for an anti-bullying campaign Radio 1 are running at the moment. It's great that they're taking their social responsibility so seriously. I really hope it has an impact on one of the worst features of our society. Bullying is evil, and those perpetrating often don't realise the impact they are having on the lives of their victims.

My concern comes from the advice which is usually wheeled out during these campaigns. The focus is almost invariably about what you as a victim might be able to do to stop the bullying. I hate to break it to the hard working campaigners, but the reality is that there is often very little that the victim can do.

Take, for instance, the nugget of advice chucked into the trail on the radio. 'Just be yourself', it said. I can tell you right now that 'just being yourself' is one of the prime reasons people get picked on. I was 'just being myself' when I went to secondary school. I got off lightly compared to those who commit suicide in the face of the relentless abuse they receive, but it took years to rebuild my confidence. I still suffer occasional outbursts of rage, the origins of which can be traced fairly precisely to those times when I was victimised.

Other suggestions, such as ignoring the bullies, really don't work. Once they have a target, they will pester and pester and hunt their victim until that person cracks. It doesn't stop until they've got what they want. This isn't a movie where the plucky underdog can utter a few choice witticisms and throw the bullies off their back. The real world doesn't work like that. In the real world, they keep going and going until you can't take it any more. Then they carry on.

The only way to eradicate bullying is to eradicate the bullies. I don't know what it is these kids don't get at home, but something in their behaviour has to be modulated. There is always a reason someone is a bully at school (or anywhere else, for that matter), and our attentions must be focussed on dealing with those issues. This way not only do we help the victims, but (and just as crucially) we help the bullies become human beings again.

I think it's great that Radio 1 would dedicate so much time to such a worthy cause, but I can't help feeling that they've got it horribly wrong.

If you're a victim reading this, I can offer one piece of advice. It served me well; perhaps it will help you. Find something that is yours, something they can't take away from you, something they cannot destroy, no matter how hard they try. Keep it safe, keep it from them. Share it with those you love and trust, even if that's your dog or a stuffed toy. But keep it from them at all costs. My 'thing' was my imagination, the world behind my eyes into which I can retreat so easily. Without it, who knows what might have happened. That thing will be your anchor, the thing that gives you strength. In the dark moments, think of it. It will be a lighthouse.

If you've read this far, thank you.